Where are we headed?

There has been so much change lately, and even more talk about change. The expectations are high, each of us seems to have his or her own idea about what will happen, what might happen and how end of 2012 will look like. It seems to be the billion $$ question these days what the heck is going to occur at the end of this year.

The positioning teams, the ones in the first rows, the visionaries who chose to be the draft horses in these times are getting ready to "move" into the New Earth. The anticipation is big, the hopes are high. We feel the change and then again we don't. We are shifting so fast that it is hard to tell that something has shifted since we adjust to the changes equally fast. It is not even possible to look back and compare and contrast our Now with the past we once were part of. For many of us though it is not going fast enough, we rather wish a lightning bolt to radically change everything so we can finally move into our new spaces. We are so done with the old world and never ending shift! Well, I have been one of those. :)

It seems we better get comfortable right there where we are and ground ourselves in the Infinite Now which includes all possibilities and all times, past, present and future. Waiting for something we feel how it feels yet we don't know how it is going to show up puts us in a place between at least two worlds! :) And this phase might be a looong one! We are still co-creating the New Earth, shaping it, forming, molding it with our consciousness and with our choices moment by moment. It seems it will not be done over night! :)

Many of us have been receiving visions from the New Earth, how it feels like, bits and pieces of it. I am becoming aware that those have been shifting and changing over time so rapidly that if you are holding on to a piece you received a while ago you might be holding on to a piece of a version of reality that might have been outdated or updated in the meantime. With our rapid shift and change, with our moment by moment choices the New Earth and how She will look like is shifting rapidly too. So, actually, when we receive a vision, it is not something to make real but rather it is something to use as a step stone and move further into the Unknown. Don't we want to co-create the New World beyond our wildest dreams and visions?! It will be something we cannot imagine, we cannot dream, right?! There are so many versions of the New Earth we have been tapping into and at the same time we are constantly expanding into the highest possibility. The moment we feel we got a hold on it, it slips away and it is perfect that way. We only tap into possibilities and not into a created fixed future. Since, what is future other than a space of infinite possibility anyway?

There is no geographic or energetic place we, our beings can be found! We are everywhere at all times and yet nowhere. Waiting to be moved to some place might be an eternal waiting in terms of human life span. What if we take what is there for us right now without waiting for anything to happen? What if we make ourselves home in the Unknown that is constantly shifting, changing and expanding? What if we get in synch with the pulse of the New Earth, Gaia in Her future self, breathe with Her in her rhythm and follow her into what She wants to expand? What if we align our being with Her ever expanding self that is re-creating Herself each and every moment and enjoy being co-creators in this Divine Mystery? There is no where to go, rite? Are you in? I AM! :)

How Cruel Is The Goddess?

I often get asked how I incarnated as a walk-in. Well, in my perception and understanding incarnation is the same process regardless of the chronological age of the body one is incarnating into. Well, that is a difference, but basically incarnation is like a free fall from the higher dimensions, through all astral realm into the physical form. How we experience this free fall, or this journey through those levels sets the tone, our relationships to ourselves, to the Divinity, to each other, to life for our entire lifetime.

When I came in I came in without any resistance into a body of which the original inhabitant came in in total resistance, in total defiance to incarnation. She resisted what she perceived as separation from Divinity and contracted while moving down through the astral realms. She came in as we would call it kicking and screaming and pouting at God sending her away without coming with her, or holding her hand through that experience. She duplicated the experience of the first separation (as it was perceived anyway) and lived basically a life of pouting and defiance expecting God to come back and take her away from this God-less place called life on planet Earth! In the end she couldn't take the experience of separation she was in and left the body.

Ever since I came in I have been embracing that "inheritance", breathing through it, feeling a little and sometimes totally overwhelmed by the intensity of the contraction and agony that was in the physical/emotional system I walked into, asking for divine intervention to dissolve the whole pile of terror and resistance I have been carrying around. Lately I asked a being I truly trust to walk me through that experience. What happened was surprising, to say the least. This being totally threw me back at me, leaving me physically for longer periods of time while telling me to feel it all, and also telling me that this was not going to change, that this was what it was and I'd better start accepting it. Well, that was not what I was expecting, needless to say. After our short time of "working" on it (what happened, really?) I was back again, on top or rather under my huge mountain of terror, resistance, angst....you name it...Feeling through it, embracing it wasn't cutting it obviously, so I had no idea what to do with it and honestly considered to allow it to be, thinking of way of living with it...I would be living with all those heavy emotions stuck in my body until the end of my days here, without any hope for them moving in any way. Hmmmmm.....

This morning, when I was in my total embrace of what is, something happened: That what was holding it all together revealed to me layer by layer. How this person treated me was exactly how "I" (in Oneness, is there a difference, really?) perceived the Goddess was treating "me". I was being abandoned (interestingly, I always misspell this word! :-)), completely left alone to go through that terrible experience of emotion and physical life which I considered God-less. I realized that I defined God as being pure Love and expansion, Joy and bliss and what I was experiencing, the 4th and 3rd dimensional realities was NOT GOD! How could the Goddess be so cruel and send me here, into this experience and how can the Goddess leave me there and look away? What did I do that was so cosmically bad and wrong to be punished like this? I was pouting and defying all experience in this reality not seeing that the Goddess was in this experience as well, ready to embrace me in fear, in pain, in rage, in the physical body and form! I was looking all the wrong places to find the Divinity, putting the Divine into a box, form and structure, blind to Her infinite forms and formless existence in ALL things created and not created! She was holding her arms open to catch me after the free fall and during the free fall, to embrace me in physicality. I was defying it all, being a 3 year old, saying, if God is not here and is not coming to take me from here, I am not gonna play anymore and go home! Standing in a corner most of the time, pouting, watching all the people getting messy with all the emotional, physical realms! Not caring for anything in this reality! How cruel is the Goddess? Which the previous occupant also did, she was unable to shift her perception and left with a broken heart, which I all took over.

Looking deeper into separation another layer of truth revealed itself to me: Yes, they (who, really?) changed our DNA and yes they changed our brain and everything which slammed us into separation. But was it separation, really? Could any of us in physical bodies even for a moment be separate from the Divinity? It is not even possible, our bodies wouldn't be animated, our hearts would not beat in the yub-yum of the Divine Mother and we would not be able to breathe life. What "they" changed in our systems was shifting our perception, or rather creating a form, a vessel, the possibility of the experience of being separate from the Divinity which was very necessary for us to experience this reality as real, to take it seriously, really. The only thing that was changed was our perception, not taking away anything from us in our Infinite Beingness, but actually adding another possibility of experience of being separate from the Source! Separation was never real! The Divine has been and IS all around us, in physicality, in all emotions, in all fear, in everything we consider bad, wrong and try to get rid of, judge or distance us from! Embracing it all is coming full circle and ending all separation. We don't need to heal separation, we just need to shift our perception of it! All we need is to stop acting like 3 year olds and choose to grow up, shift from expecting unrealistic and untruthful things from God (or from the people around us and from ourselves) which are not our innate truths. And it seems we need to do it by ourselves, nobody is gonna do it for us. So, being thrown back to myself, having doors emotionally slammed at me was the perfect gift I could ever have asked for in the end? :)

Are we dying?

A few days ago a huge wave of energy washed over the planet creating the most intense cleansing I have ever experienced. It has brought a lot of sadness, depression, hopelessness to the surface to be cleansed and cleared. Old structures, belief systems, ego constructs are disintegrating at light speed and our psyche is challenged to hold on to anything since nothing is constant in the old world anymore. This causes symptoms of hopelessness, depression and disorientation at so many levels of the human psyche. There is a feeling of being lost in the collective more than ever.

I have been feeling a lot of death energies lately and today it dawned to me that there is "death" and deterioration/disintegration all around us. It is not only happening at a reality/structural level but also at the physical planetary level which, as I just became are of, affects our physical bodies. Since our physical bodies are part of Gaia and the 3D planet is dying when seen from one perspective, our physical bodies and systems believe they are dying and deteriorating/disintegrating as well! This causes a lot of rather strange physical problems, issues and conditions in the physical bodies that seem to come out of the blue. While until a while ago mainly our mental and emotional levels were targeted the new waves go directly into the physical levels of the planet which our bodies innately belong to. It is a thorough and intense cleansing and purging at all levels. In most cases our bodies are not dying or deteriorating but rather they are transitioning to the grid of the New Earth.

It seems to be imminently important that we ground our bodies and our beings in the New Earth grid and ask our higher levels to ground and anchor us in our lightbodies and in the reality of Spirit, i.e. the parallel that is ascending as opposed to the one that is disintegrating. It seems to be so important to ground our beings in Spirit and our bodies in the New planetary grid. If you don't know where that is, it is only a thought away, just ask for it. It seems we are finally getting anchored in the New planetary grid at an etheric level which, I am taking, is good news, as the ascension time marker must be close.

We don't have time for our petty personal issues and tissues anymore. We don't have the luxury to get caught up in personal dramas or stories anymore but we need to step into our greater beings to BE what we came here to BE: a bridge and a chalice for the ascension of this planet and humanity as a race. Why else on Earth would we take human bodies and come here, right? :)

Where On Earth Am I?

Recently I have figured out that the location of this blog says I am in NYC and in Eastern Time (ET) zone! While it is true that I am in ET-zone, I am in Europe and on Central European Time! Needless to say I have NO idea why and how the blogger would "think" I am in NYC and put me on ET time! I haven't created this blog while being there and google has my correct location and tried to change it many times to Austria which didn't work! It makes me think though that I am neither there nor here in so many ways!

I am trying to track back time to figure out HOW it came to happen that I am so disconnected from  the life here in Austria, how come that I have only a couple of friends here, two from the US, well one is from Puerto Rico actually.....another one from Haiti....If I was here on vacation it wouldn't be much different, really. And in some ways I feel like I am on vacation! :))

I talk to the people I met on Facebook from Australia, USA and UK more than the people in my reality. How did this happen? I am seriously wondering how on Earth will I find my way back to the physical reality where I am in? Do I want that really while I am dreaming of other places to be and to live in? Where on Earth am I? :)

Looking deeper into this I realize that I am a traveler between dimensions as well, not quite feeling home in any of them since my 3D self is truly not at home in this 3D reality but has not really moved permanently into the 5D! If I add to that the other dimensions and parallel realities I am a nomad, a NO WHERE woman, living in her NO WHERE land, making all her NO WHERE plans for NOBODY! Arghhhhhhh!

Looking even deeper I realize it goes beyond that, it is also the WHO I AM that moves along the same lines! I cannot really keep to one identity, right, changing names all the time, fully aware that I  AM so many things in so many dimensions and realities and times and spaces! This is especially true when the inter-dimensional movements increase from time to time. Now, it is no secret that we are transitioning from one paradigm to the other, from one reality to the other and the veil between the realities is thinning as I write. Does that mean we became nomads, "nowhere"-beings with multiple identities shifting from one to the other? If so where do we find our stability and our true identity in all of this and how do we keep it if this reality doesn't support Divinity and is based solely on illusion? Where do we drop anchor and what do we call home in the outer reality? When where is not a place and space and what is undefined...how do navigate this reality and create and live the dreams and visions of our hearts? Where on Earth are we?

The Courage To Be It All

The surf is high these days, the heat in our lives is turned on once again. Everything below the surface, everything under covers is coming up at full speed in the least expected moments. People do their best to awaken these days, it is awesome! They choose all kinds of challenges of health, finances, losses, divorces, foreclosures, you name it, to WAKE UP! They choose the toughest possibilities to make sure they wake up! They create powerlessness to remind themselves of their potency, sickness to remind themselves that they ARE perfect, vibrant health....lack of money to remind themselves of the fact that they ARE Infinite Abundance and they are sustained by the Divine! What a perfect orchestration and what dedication and service to the  Divine!

What is expected from us is to BE IT ALL! I mean, ALL of it! All the emotions, all the sadness, anguish, terror, helplessness, hopelessness, while at the same time holding the position of the Divine within! Without identifying with any of it but BEING it all as part of our wholeness! Being human and Spirit at the same time, holding both positions as irreconcilable they may seem to be! It seems this is truly what is brings separation and polarity to an end: Being the terror, the depression and devastation AND the Divinity at the same time, holding both the two seemingly separate ends and BEING BOTH at the same time! It seems this is what is piercing the veils of separation, unifying what IS One and has always been One!

It requires to go beyond everything we have known and we have considered to be real. It requires to call forth parts of our being to the forefront that were inaccessible for eons. It requires to call forth our Divinity and our deepest human aspects we considered to be the lowest and asks us to BE it all! Because we are it all...and so much more! We are being called to say YES to it all!

What Colors Did You Eat Today?

I just had a blackberry smoothie: blackberries, green powder, chia seeds, flaxseeds, reishi, maca, a dash of guarana, a dash of cinnamon, pea protein powder, stevia....It had an amazingly vibrant magenta color! I could not  help but BE grateful to the Mother Earth for this gift!!!!! Each and every cell in my body feels nourished, energized, embraced, caressed and LOVED by the Mother Earth! I feel the colors, the taste, the scents of it all dance in and merge with my cells in Divine Union! Just perfect!

in bliss,

tara

Living Large in a Small World

I have been receiving many downloads of empowerment recently real potency and potent masculine boosts! :) The frequencies of taking action, of strength and of determination. I feel my body buzzing with Kundalini, Shakti power, stars and galaxies are spinning in my physicality! I am brimming with possibilities and creative energy that wants to create something, something that has never been before! Something that is so familiar yet so unknown! :)

Life brought my attention to something again today, to the emergence of the New World. The Divine is saying, it is time NOW! I came to this embodiment only and solely with one intention: to co-create the New Earth, to add my energy and my piece of "information" to it! So far I haven't been really able to do it, have I? Squeezed between the walls of the old matrix, as I perceived myself, I saw no place to go or no space to be. At one point early this year I was so depressed that I was given the conscious choice to leave the body, to re-contract it to another being who is willing to come in. I chose to stay! The walls are moving now when we push them away, what a gift!!!

I didn't have and still don't have the answer to the question about how to live in the new world as a tangible reality. I am becoming aware of the fact that is yet to become possible. So, what to do in the meantime? All of me is wired for the New Earth, or Heaven on Earth as some traditions call it, I don't even have the skills nor any interest in being or living anything old, limiting and not expansive! I am aware that I have been asked to delete/dissipate/dissolve as much from the old matrix in my own psyche and thus in the grid so the shift is smooth and as many people as possible can "cross over". It is the choice of every living being to ascend otherwise they wouldn't be here. So, what to do in the  meantime until we shift collectively to the 5th dimension, if one doesn't want to wait idly and wants to have some fun in a small reality??? That I am still to figure out. I wished there was a guide or a manual about How To Live Large in a Small, Limited World! Like the 50 Things to do on a 3D planet as a 5D being? :) Wouldn't it be great? :)

Maybe it is just about to move away from everything and live alone on a mountain top? Maybe it is to work with what one has which appears to be not so much. It is the Doing part I didn't get so much down, the BEing part is a no-brainer, isn't it?! BE YOU, BE authentic, BE real, no matter what! :)

in anticipation,

tara

Self-Love

Today I am inspired to talk about L O V E! :)

Yesterday night I couldn't sleep because I was intensely, fiercely in Love with myself! Yeah, with myself! :) There was this wonderful, heart-bursting Love pouring through me, out of me, into me, who can tell! I was so in Love with myself , teary-eyed, hugging myself and whispering "I Love YOU!" into my own ear at 2 am in the morning, lying sleepless in my bed! Adoring every part of me, kissing my own hands and cheeks, caressing my whole being! In fierce Gratitude for my body, for every single cell, delighting in being alive! Delighting in being in a human body! Infinitely Grateful for the air flowing into my lungs, for the gift of breath, for the lightness of my body, for the feeling of almost floating in the air! Infinitely grateful for the sensation of being embedded in soft feathers, for my cozy and warm bed!

Basking in the intensity of Self-Love my consciousness took a dive into the awareness of it, into the core of it, to BE more of it! Moving through the waves of Love, soaking it in fully, I came to notice that I was loving myself because there was nothing else, nobody else there but me! Coming full circle! No need for a reflection, or an outside image to project Love, just ending where I start, being the source and the receiver of Love! Since who else is there, really? Have anybody ever loved anybody else?

My being expanded and expanded and I wished this state of being each and every human being on this planet, asking myself, how could that happen? What will make that happen? Extending my being to all humanity and beyond I felt humanity's cries of forgetting, of being separate from Love! Containing all, embracing it all, allowing all, holding all positions and no position at all! Merging and merging into more of me until even Love became silent.....gently sinking into the subatomic realms, like snow flakes falling to the Earth on a calm, silent night in winter....sinking in...and in...reaching the point of absolute stillness....coming full circle...home coming...Pure Grace.....

I have to BE something about it!

Heaven, I had created this blog like years ago! Who would know I would write my first post today? :-) The name of the blog seems to be just right! Giggles in delight, which I am right having while writing for the first time in this blog created in the past. it is like past and present merge into future or into ONE-TIME, into the Now where all time resides? Who knows? I am not here to know, really!  :-) 

Yesterday I had an idea that came in an instant, like a lightning, and within some moments I actualized it: I created a group on Facebook, for Austrians only, who choose consciousness, who choose to live deliberately, who have the courage to walk new paths, who are visionaries, who innovative and CRAZY! You see, I had this point of view that such people would not exist in Austria, I would be the only one, in isolation, separate from all the people living in other countries. Well, maybe I could use a change in my perception, wouldn't you say too? Maybe, and maybe there are a few peeps who are really crazy enough to create a new world, who I could relate to and co-create with? 

Creating that group I realized that there were under 10 people I am somehow connected who live in Austria! The rest of my Facebook connections are almost 90% from the USA, ALL my friends I talk to on a daily basis live in the USA! It seems I haven't been living in Austria much, have I? :-)

You see, ever since I walked in into this body 4 1/2 years ago I have itchy feet, with a constant urge to move somewhere, some place or just move! Feeling like my space ship crashed right in the middle of Vienna and I was heading somewhere else! And what was happening was that I was kind of whirling around a steady pole, moving at light speed without going anywhere! Well, since I am not moving anywhere, permanently at least as it seems, I might as well see what this place has to offer, right? That would be wise, wouldn't it?

The vision of a new world is becoming stronger and stronger and almost unbearable! I have to BE something about it! :-) It is the only reason I am here after all, to BE the New World! So, maybe I can co-create a community of people, starting on Facebook who walk new paths and who ALL live in Austria! :-) Boy, would that blow all my reality bubbles about Austria having fallen off of the Earth? :-)

It is a sunny and warm day today, one of the last days of summer in Austria. I wonder what this day will bring?

with giggles in delight,

tara